Man Candle Collection from Yankee Candle

Man Candle Collection Now at Yankee Candle

Yes, you read that right, there is now a Man Candle Collection at Yankee Candle

I was already in trouble because Mike is the candle buyer in this household, but now that there is a Man Candle Collection - I am really in trouble! It almost humorous but I have to keep a handle on him when we are at the mall or at our local Cracker Barrel because Mike will spend way too much money on Yankee Candles, am I the only one with a hubby that loves candles more than the wife?

Anyway, Yankee Candle sent me two of their Man Candles from their new Man Candle Collection: Mmm, Bacon! and Movie Night™  and Mike loved these!

Why Do Women Cry?

I just read this in a Facebook group that I am in… and I LOVE it and wanted to share:

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

“All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God.

When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her man through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good man never hurts his woman, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart -the place where love resides."

Don’t you LOVE this?!?

See why I had to share?

Relationships: What Happened to True Love?

Can someone answer a question for me?

What has happened to all the good relationships in the world today?
What has happened to TRUE LOVE?
What has happened to relationships with the deepest respect and the mushy kind of love?
Why are husbands and wives not IN LOVE anymore?
They claim that they “love” each other, but they clearly do not.
I think they are “comfortable” in their situation and they consider this “love”.

(Okay, so that was more than just one question, sorry!)

Why Men Are Never Depressed

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just  another snack.
• You can be President.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You don't get bloated for 1 week out of every month.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• Okay, a two-week vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• Hell, two pairs of shoes is more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• One color for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
• You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
• Hell, you can do your nails with a toothpick.
• Or not.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24.

No wonder men are happier!!!

Man Shower vs. Woman Shower

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
• Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
• Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
• Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
• Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
• Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
• Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
• Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
• Shave armpits and legs.
• Rinse off.
• Turn off shower
• Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
• Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.
• Dry with towel the size of a small country.
• Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
• Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
• If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to the bathroom.
• If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
• Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
• Get in the shower. Wash your face.
• Wash your armpits.
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
• Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
• Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
• Wash your hair.
• Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
• Pee.
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Partially dry off.
• Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
• Admire wiener size in mirror again.
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
• If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
• Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this,

there is something SO very wrong with you.